Paris Loves Benji

• Author: Ms. Hollywood Headache
• Filed under: Benji Madden, paris-hilton
• Date: Apr 9,2008

Well that didn’t take long. After less than two months of dating, Paris Hilton – whose romance with rocker Benji Madden blossomed seemingly overnight – is ready to use the l-word.

“I’ve never felt so happy and in love,” she declared in a post on her MySpace Celebrity blog Tuesday. “He’s such an amazing guy and life has never been better.”

For the past month the hotel heiress, 27, has been touring – hitting Europe and Africa – with Madden and his band, Good Charlotte.

“It’s so much fun going to their shows every night, I now know every song by heart,” Hilton wrote. “All the guys in the band are so cool and sweet and it’s been such an amazing and memorable experience.”

PEOPLE 

Paris Hilton has been cleansed

• Author: The Blemish
• Filed under: News, celebrity, paris-hilton
• Date: Mar 3,2008

Paris Hilton was blessed by a shaman the other day and guess what. It worked! Now she’s even dumber than last week. Hurrah!

Being an old Asian guy with a beard must be the cushiest job in Hollywood because 50 years of borderline racist movies have taught us that Asians are studios, know some type of martial art and have mystical powers from the Orient. Also, the funnier their accent, the wiser they are. Combine that with the fact that a lot of celebrities are retarded and I’ll bet you this guy is loaded. He probably goes home, takes off his robe, slips into his $500 silk boxers, which by the way feels fantastic against his nuts, and watches Lost on his 120 inch LCD.

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